Valentine

Wow some love on here at last lol 

Wot? No Welling on your map? And I thought you loved me!

sorry. Just didn't have the room, and didn't wanna put it in small as that would've been equally upsetting

Sorry is just not good enough, Speed, I am going to leave you. Have all your stuff out by the time I get home!

Anyone taking their lovely wife/girlfriend/boyfriend/civil partner (I'm not here to judge) out for a slap up Wetherspoons meal tonight? Or is it just me?

I made the wife breakfast in bed today, 

Doing a slice of toast is much cheaper and easier than flowers,a card and chocolates.

Was going to but just been kicked out day of all days 

Last year my wife gave me a very special Valentine's surprise. She called me up to the bedroom when I got in, with this REAL sexy voice. When I went into the bedroom she was lying on the bed wearing a red basque, fishnet stockings and suspender belt. Nothing else. She handed me a pair of pink fluffy handcuffs, got on her hands and knees and told me to handcuff her wrists to the bedposts, which I eagerly did. Then she wriggled her bum at me and told me I could do whatever I wanted. So I took a twenty pound note out of her purse and went down the pub.

At last I've managed to find my wife's G-spot!

Who would have thought her sister had it all the time?

I suggested the bucking bronco position with an ex-girlfriend and she agreed to try it even though she didn't know what it was. We both stripped naked and got into the doggie position. Then I tied a rope round my arse and her thighs When it was nice and tight I said to her 'Your mum likes this position too you know.' Ye-haaaaa!!!